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Humanity is experiencing a momentous once-in-a-civilisation event on this planet. We stand at the threshold of a new era, a Golden Age, a New Earth. Prophets from a multitude of cultures and times have spoken of this place metaphorically and literally for thousands of years. Yet, the tickets for entry are not guaranteed. This is a free-will universe. You have a choice to accept a time of suffering and destruction or to take the reins of creation into your hands and become the Conscious Leader of your own life and the steward of this new era for humanity. Either way, you play a powerful role in co-creating the world in which you participate. The real question is which destiny will you choose?
We are already running a default program of destruction. We are always creating and, at this point in time, outer appearances would lead us to believe that we may be on our way to creating our own demise. Our conditioning through our heavily programmed human experiences created a belief that suffering is a part of being human, life is hard and we are here to navigate our way through trials and tribulations so that we can redeem our heavenly rewards when we die. This deep conditioning creates a matrix for fulfillment into form. If we choose to continue to apply these thought forms, then collectively we will most likely choose an Earth that is fraught with sparse resources, suffering, sickness and fighting. Researchers already report that a person cannot reach any high level of governmental office these days without having already been compromised; this appears to be true for the world at large. A tremendous misuse of the people’s monies and the planet’s resources is fast unraveling, leading to rampant speculation of an out-of-control and very radical collapse. Government damage control is scrambling to create clever new cover stories in order to gloss over these shortfalls.
At the same time, a fabulous awakening of the collective conscious mind is gaining ground. As your perceptions become ever more enhanced, many things are becoming much more apparent, and letting go of old beliefs can be experienced as a freeing endeavour. People all over the world are now faced with the shocking discovery that nothing is exactly as it appears to be and most of what we have been taught is a complete fabrication. This painful realisation must be integrated on a physical level in order to truly penetrate the power of your beliefs and their hold on you. From a wider vista, there is always a greater plan in play. And just as a stage is set for a performance, our world is readying itself as ancient understandings of the human power to create a different world are resurfacing. We are being invited to participate in a new reality that requires us to activate the Divinity within us and to serve as co-creators of a powerful New Earth. Quantum physics has shown us that Light (which we are all made of) travels in pulses and waves and that, for brief periods of time, two particles of Light can occupy the same space at the same time before diverging onto different paths to create different destinies. These points of contact are Points of Evolution – a brief moment when choices and vibrations determine destinies. Choice points of evolution are initiated by chaos, periods of reorganisation filled with all kinds of experiences for us to gain clarity. For this reason freedom is found in your power to choose.
“All the gods, all the heavens, all the hells, are within you.”
~ Joseph Campbell
These seemingly chaotic points of pulsing energy are actually change points – energised places of choice. The human mind perceives chaos because in these moments there are an infinite number of pathways converging simultaneously. For realities to change, and for us to get off one path and onto a different one, there are points where the two roads meet. We are at such a crucial junction right now. The greater the perceived chaos, the bigger the jump between the two roads and the greater capacity there is for growth. Being accountable to the truth must prevail in all forms of leadership, particularly as we all eventually learn to trust and lead ourselves. This is a pivotal time for human-heart consciousness to be recognised and applied as a natural and well-intended tool for change. When you focus your attention into your heart centre, this connection allows you to compassionately walk into the shadows of life and to safely know the truth. Conscious Leaders know that trusting yourself in the midst of a world seemingly gone mad is a wise use of intention.
When your nervous system is in balance, you are able to see fearful and limiting beliefs for what they are. And when they arise, acknowledge their existence, fairly assess the role they have played in your life, and then let them go. However, when you are whinging and tired, you are much more easily triggered. Triggers are sensory reminders that cause painful memories to suddenly resurface, without warning. When triggered, you can be launched into overwhelming feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, or panic. We all have emotional triggers. We do not automatically know what each others triggers are. How strange (and self-sabotaging) that we refuse to get into relationships and friendships with people unless they treat us in a perfect way. We’ve been raised on Disney fairy tales. We’ve been conditioned to wait for flawless saviours to rescue us, but the saviour is far from flawless and no one is coming. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. Yes – the saviour is you! And the saviour is still learning. The saviour is never done learning.
“Your triggers are pathways to your wounds. The stimulus is only a door.”
―
Want to know the fastest and most direct path to the Golden Age? Simple: letting go of all your triggers and your attachments will speed everything up. Forget perfect, forget flawless, and start speaking your truth. Start speaking what you want into existence and how you want it to feel. Start asking and listening, really listening, to what the people around you say. Only then will we finally stop abandoning and hurting each other. When a person, place or thing triggers you, see it for the goldmine it is. As soon as you feel defensive, frustrated or prideful that’s an indicator for you to look more deeply into that trigger. If you are feeling defensive about something there is obviously some sort of belief system you have around that thing which makes you feel like you’re in the right. By identifying your triggers and letting go of the narratives around them you will ascend rapidly.
By watching your thought forms, you will begin to catch yourself more and more quickly. If thoughts get away from you at the start, then begin by noticing your feelings. Guilt arises out of manipulative behaviour. Anger with blame implies victimhood and often reflects a lack of responsibility for your decisions, as well as a lack of understanding of the many layers of purpose and meaning that underlie each event. Anger is often triggered when you feel backed up against a wall and limit yourself with only one interpretation of what is occurring. More often than not, opportunity comes disguised as loss. No matter what you think you have to do, there is always an option available for a harmonious resolution. Stop piling so much on your plate and let go of what you need to leave behind. Walk away if you must. When you blame circumstances outside yourself, you miss the wave of awareness, because in reality it is you who is attracting the situation. As above, so below. As within, so without. Whenever you make excuses, you are not in the game. The nature of existence is friendly and significant, and as a designer of reality, ask yourself why you design what you do. Conscious Leaders seize the moment and pay close attention to how they use their thoughts and words to create their outer environment.
“Those who make conversations impossible, make escalation inevitable.”
― Stefan Molyneux
Repeating thoughts over and over again is a clear indication there is a trigger hiding that needs to be examined. The truth just is and doesn’t need constant repetition (programming). This level of awareness is essential to grasp. Conscious Leaders know that opportunities to naturally expand into new territories of intelligence offer a bountiful harvest for sane and meaningful living. To heal and change your world, you must be willing to know some hard truths. This is your fortune, and it will set you free to know yourself and your place in existence. The ‘happy family’ is a myth for many. Most of our parents raised us to suppress our emotions. Of course, they did not use those exact words. It sounded more like, “You’re way too sensitive,” “Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve,” ” Suck it up, princess,” “Go to your room and stop crying” or “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry for .”
You probably spent your entire childhood, and at least half of your adulthood, discovering that this method simply does not work. Suppression is not managing emotions. The result of emotional suppression is a long list of emotional triggers that cause you to lash out in unpredictable ways at unsuspecting, innocent, and potentially loving people in your life. One of the many wonders of the human mind is how masterfully it rationalises our behaviour. When something occurs, we react, and then our brain instantly concocts a reason for the reaction that seems to justify our behaviour – even when the reason makes no sense. For example, you fly into a rage because you can’t find a report you were working on. You blame the company for giving you insufficient space, the cleaners for moving things around on your desk, or your boss for giving you a stupid task with an unreasonable deadline. You ignore reasons, such as you are tired, you feel overburdened, and your patience is thin.
“When things are challenging, remember you are not the feelings and emotions. They are just a reaction to the situation, so accept them and try to find the root source and ease that pain – The core essence of you is a beautiful, unique, authentic spirit and you are worthy of everything in life.”
― Nanette Mathews
When you are in a threatening situation, you initiate a fight or flight response. The body goes on high alert, prioritising all its resources to react to the situation. Functions that are not necessary for survival, such as digestion, are put on hold. One of the functions neglected during a fight or flight situation is short-term memory formation. In some cases, a person’s brain may misfile the traumatic event in its memory storage. Rather than being stored as a past event, the situation is labeled as a present threat. When a person is reminded of the trauma, their body acts as if the event is actually happening now, engaging the fight or flight mode. There is a difference between being triggered and being uncomfortable. Feeling triggered isn’t just about something rubbing you the wrong way. Emotional triggers cause strong physical and emotional sensations, such as:
Anger
Sadness
Loneliness/emptiness
Anxiety
Feeling overwhelmed, vulnerable, abandoned, or out of control
Trembling
Palpitations/racing heart
Choking feeling or trouble breathing/swallowing
Hot flushes
Chills
Dizziness or faintness
Nausea
Chest pain/discomfort
Pain
Muscle tension
Memories tied to a traumatic event
Feeling of detachment/dissociation
Sweating
These physical sensations are then followed by intense emotions, such as: hatred, disgust, anger, jealousy, fear, terror, or grief which ‘triggers’ the ego into in self-protective behaviour that looks like shouting, arguing, insulting, hiding, crying, or some other emotional outburst.
“This is the moment I realise that our traumas never really go away. They live inside of us, in the deepest darkest pits of our own tiny hells. Cocked and loaded, waiting for someone to come along and pull the trigger.”
― A. Zavarelli
Think of a time when someone made a jokingly mean comment toward you. It may not have been a huge deal to another person, but this particular barb cut right to your heart and totally destabilised you. This was you being triggered. Left unhealed, triggers can affect your relationships with family, friends, your spouse, your children, your boss your co-workers, and even strangers. Depending upon your skill in handling the trigger when it occurs, this may make the difference in being seen as someone who can be promoted, in how your children learn to cope with their emotions, and if your spouse understands why you just became so upset. In extreme cases, triggers physically harm people. Emotional triggers can lead to spousal abuse, child abuse, road rage, sexual abuse, and other forms of lashing out.
Emotional triggers are like little psychic explosions that crash through avoidance and bring the dissociated, avoided trauma suddenly, unexpectedly, back into consciousness. Usually, those triggers stem from old wounds in childhood, traumatic experiences, new unhealed hurts, or even the lack of ability to deal with strong emotions. Your perceptions of reality expand when you purposely look for new levels of significance, as well as the hidden meanings of life. When you enhance your awareness, you contribute your own unique frequencies to the ever-growing collective realisation that as a human being you must accept ultimate responsibility for exercising the power you naturally embody. The healing requires remembering that you are an energetic being whose thoughts, feelings, and emotions create the world that you encounter. We are all engaged in this multidimensional drama because of an agreement between many realities to heal the mind, body, and spirit of humanity and all those connected to you. It is also an agreement to provide inspiration for a new vision of life throughout the multiverse.
“The hysteric, whose body is transformed into a theatre for forgotten scenes, relives the past, bearing witness to a lost childhood that survived in suffering.”
―
When we aren’t aware of our emotional triggers, or how to handle them, our lives follow destructive and painful paths. Identifying your triggers is vital to your every success because without bringing into consciousness that which provokes an extreme response from you, you’ll be like a marionette doll, constantly manipulated by your emotions. Your friendships will be strained or ruined, your relationships will be turbulent or sabotaged, and your life, in general, will be much more painful. Conscious Leaders put the effort into exploring emotional triggers. The whole point of becoming conscious is that the more aware you are, the less you will be ruled by the unconscious forces within you. All it takes is your commitment to the process. Begin by seeing if you can identify with any of the following scenarios:
Not Being Accepted
If you didn’t feel accepted by the most important people in your life, or if you can’t accept yourself as you are right now, you’ll feel triggered by those who judge or reject you.
Not Being Respected
If you don’t treat yourself and others with respect, you’ll feel it more when others disrespect you or when they don’t show you as much respect as you would like.
Not Being Liked
Not being liked by someone else is more likely to hurt when we dislike ourselves (secretly or otherwise) or believe ourselves to be unlikable.
Being Misunderstood
If you felt misunderstood (or not worth the trouble of understanding) by someone close to you, while growing up, it triggers you when others jump to conclusions about you.
Not Feeling Needed
If this is a trigger, the word “useless” will be particularly painful for you because you want to feel needed and appreciated for your contributions.
Not Feeling Valued
If the people who were supposed to see and appreciate your value made you feel worthless or of little value, you’ll feel triggered when people are not grateful for (or overlook) your contributions.
Feeling Out of Control
The feeling of control over your life and environment is a fragile thing and easily disrupted. You will feel this more when a sense of control makes you feel safe, needed, or valued.
Being Unfairly Treated
If you had to fight for justice at a young age (or have suffered in the defence of justice), you will feel triggered whenever someone treats you or someone else unfairly.
Not Getting Attention
If you felt invisible during your childhood and craved more attention, feeling ignored, overlooked, or disregarded will be a trigger for you.
Restricted Personal Freedom
If you had to fight to liberate yourself from the rigid or controlling behaviour of an authority figure, you will likely feel triggered whenever someone threatens to curtail your freedom.
Made to Feel Wrong
If you’ve been manipulated by someone into thinking you’re wrong all the time, you will bristle whenever anyone else tries the same tack with you.
Made to Feel Ashamed of Who or What You Are
If you were shamed and made to feel unworthy of love because you felt defective or broken, you will feel triggered when others call you out for being a sinner (or something similar to outcast), as though in their eyes, your sins make you less worthy of love or kindness.
Feeling Uncomfortable
If you’ve had to endure lingering and intense discomfort and felt powerless to do anything about it, you will feel triggered by anything that threatens your current level of comfort.
Too Much Disorder
If you look around you and see clutter, you may feel cluttered on the inside, which can be overwhelming and distressing — especially if order makes you feel safer or more in control.
Too Little Money
If an experience of poverty lingers in your memory as a nightmare you can never quite escape, you will likely feel triggered whenever anything threatens your financial stability.
Feeling Unsafe
A traumatic experience in childhood might leave you feeling as though you’re never really safe. Everything that threatens your degree of safety will likely trigger you.
Feeling Unloved
If you felt as though you didn’t matter as a child, you probably did your best to need as little as possible from others, hoping they would love you more if you needed less.
Feeling Unattractive
If you felt at a young age that people’s love for you depended on your attractiveness, you probably put more work into looking good. Disparaging remarks about your looks will hurt more because they make you feel less lovable.
Feeling Stupid
If you felt that people’s love for you or their sense of your value depended on your intelligence (or their perception of it), it’s probably important to you that others see you as intelligent. Anyone who makes you feel stupid is a threat.
Feeling like a Failure
If you were overly punished or criticised for your mistakes when you were young, separating you from love and happiness, you will feel triggered each time you fail at something. You may even develop a fear of taking risks.
Feeling Betrayed or Abandoned
If you have counted on someone to defend you or have your back, only to feel betrayed and unloved when they abandoned you, you will feel triggered whenever you think someone else might do the same.
Feeling Brushed Off
When someone brushes you off or dismisses you as someone unworthy of their time or attention (as if you and your concerns don’t matter) it hurts more when you feel a need for this person’s acceptance or approval.
“It is untenable to go through life as an exposed wound.”
― Roxane Gay
Once you are familiar with your emotional triggers, you probably also have a sense of how they developed in you. You can address those needs, and their underlying traumas, so that what triggers you now will lose its power over you. It’s also possible that someone in your life is using your triggers to manipulate you, and this is not only exhausting but detrimental to your own mental health. Call this type of abuse out for what it is and distance yourself as much as possible from anyone mistreating you this way. The more honest you are about your needs, the more you can minimise the effect of their related triggers.
Physical Cues
Studies suggest that not being able to express your emotions can make the emotions more intensified. Strong emotions without a label are dangerous to our brain and body. As a result, we will have physical fight or flight physiological responses. Notice when you experience:
Increased heart rate and blood pressure
Shaking or trembling
Sweating
Crying
Extreme fatigue
Weakness
Lack of eye contact
Inability to speak
Nervous stomach
Faster breathing
Foggy thinking
Environmental Cues
Your physical response is the first clue to your exaggerated behaviour. At this point, if you are able, do your best to remember what someone said and how you responded. Often, people say random stuff with no malicious intent. However, an assumed accusation or criticism, an exhale of tiredness, or change in the tone of voice, transforms what they said into a misinterpretation.
Negative Repetitive Patterns
Do you find yourself responding in the same way to criticism? Does a loud voice make you cringe and feel afraid? Do you find yourself fighting back the tears when someone brings up an event in your childhood? When someone is late to pick you up, do you assume they forgot you or that you weren’t necessary? Do you get angry at your children for demanding your attention? Look for the reactions you repeatedly have to daily social exchanges or loved ones. Your patterns contain buried hidden treasure.
That ONE Person
Do you find you feel insecure around a specific class of people or a particular co-worker? Do authority figures automatically put you on edge? Or, do conversations around you regarding a sibling or parent raise your adrenalin? Why is that? Question your reactions to them.
That ONE Topic
How do you handle criticism? Do you get defensive and start justifying your actions? Do you get angry and sarcastic about specific topics frequently? Perhaps you even find yourself putting others down to compensate for feeling inadequate around some issues?
Your normal reactions to the people and events that surround you lend clues to where your emotional insecurities are buried. You can also find them in repeated feedback from employers, loved ones, significant others, and even in how strangers respond to you. You have to be willing to be open to seeing common threads in your life and be prepared to ask yourself the hard questions. You are totally worth it!
“The Soul Toupee is that thing about ourselves we are most deeply embarrassed by and like to think we have cunningly concealed from the world, but which is, in fact, pitifully obvious to everybody who knows us.”
― Tim Kreider
The ingenuity of self-deception is inexhaustible. Therefore, self-awareness is the first step. Without awareness, we react out of a sense of survival instead of responding to what someone is saying. Own your feelings. One of the worst habits we develop in dealing with emotions is to justify our reactions to whatever triggered us. You are always responsible for your behaviour, no matter how you are feeling. Learning to acknowledge that you are reacting, examining your feelings, and not blaming them on the other person is another huge step. It’s easy to become so accustomed to telling people, “if you hadn’t yelled,” ” if only you had been on time”. Stop giving away your power. Step up and own your stuff.
Emotion is energy in-motion and must be released. Express what you felt during whatever exchange. Whether you share how you feel with a loved one, journal about it, or speak about it with a therapist. It’s hugely important to get how you felt out there without blame. Name your emotions: ”I felt sad” or “I felt angry.” Identify the need that wasn’t met which is behind the emotional trigger. Most often, our emotional triggers are related to a need or expectation not being met. Some of those needs may be:
Acceptance of who you are
Love and affection
Attention
Freedom to do things
Consistency and safety
Fairness (especially between siblings)
Acknowledgment of importance, attractiveness, ability, or intelligence.
Emotional triggers typically arise from deep-rooted childhood trauma, misunderstandings of certain events, or even simply strong emotional reactions to disappointments in life. Therefore, the key is to start deciding it is time to give those emotions a name so you can move on.
“This process within our brains is a three-step loop. First, there is a cue, a trigger that tells your brain to go into automatic mode and which habit to use. Then there is the routine, which can be physical or mental or emotional. Finally, there is a reward, which helps your brain figure out if this particular loop is worth remembering for the future: THE HABIT LOOP”
― Charles Duhigg
Conscious Leaders learn to master the art of detachment. We silently observe and pay attention to what the mind is saying. Allow yourself a few moments of illumination and look for the humour in the lesson being offered. Your inner world and the intricate workings of your mind are rich with answers and solutions; you must take the time to look within and pay attention to what your senses say. Your emotions are what make you unique; and there is a direct link between emotions, brain activity, and how your body functions. Within an awakened Conscious Leader, vibrant health is recognised as a sign of personal power, and happiness and peace of mind are the most important ingredients on an emotional level for achieving and maintaining excellent physical and mental well-being. Emotional comfort signals your brain by way of frequency to send positive messages to the rest of your body, calling forth the release of precise chemical combinations from your internal pharmacopeia to strengthen and safeguard your immune system. When you are in emotional balance, your physical vehicle is more finely tuned to make sense of the interwoven connections from other levels of experience.
In order to live well and thrive during these times of transformational change, it is to your advantage to embrace a belief in vital health, and to accept responsibility for your ability to create it. As many are discovering, cure is not the overall intent of modern medicine, because treatment involving the use of expensive poisons and medications is far more lucrative than discovering the cause and purpose of the physical and/or mental imbalances. This pernicious approach to health only serves to put greater stress on the body. Masking the symptoms of an illness with medications only glosses over the destructive thinking processes and deep inner feelings of helplessness and powerlessness, which are at the root of the problem. Unresolved emotional traumas are the real core issues of disease. Weak thinking and leading a false life weaken the body, and the massive epidemic of serious illness is a direct result of most people over the past century accepting restrictive beliefs about how the body operates. In all fairness to yourself, you must ask: “Who really benefits from managing my self-concepts?”
“Whatever is triggering you, is on you.”
― Richie Norton
Now that you’ve become more aware of triggers by tuning into your body, thoughts, and unmet needs, work on becoming more aware of certain situations or words, or your partner’s actions that seem to set off these reactions. So what can you do if you are triggered by extreme emotions in a professional environment? Here are four ways to cope in the moment.
#4 Focus and Attention
Remove your attention from the person or situation and focus on your breath. Focusing on your in-breath and out-breath calms you and brings you back to centre. Breathe in through your nose for eight counts, and exhale through your mouth for eight counts. Thinking about a pleasant place can also help you relax. Imagine you are there in that place. When your attention goes back to the triggering person or situation, pull your focus back to your breathing. Take a break. Remove yourself from the situation. Walk away for five minutes and cool down. If you are speaking with someone, excuse yourself and say that you need to go to the bathroom or somewhere else. Return when you’re feeling more centred and calm.
#3 Laugh
Find the humour in the situation. Practicing this suggestion is not always possible. However, you may be surprised by how much laughing lightens your mood and mindset. Do your best to look at the situation from a wider perspective. Will this still matter in five years time? Once you have found the humour in it, it no longer has control over you.
#2 Make a Note
Ask yourself who or what triggered your emotional reaction. Understanding why you’re being triggered will help you to regain a sense of calmness, self-awareness, so you can choose to remain in control. Writing down these triggers will help to order them in your mind so you can stay centred and in your power in the future.
#1 Safe Emotional Expression
Whatever you do, DO NOT gloss over your feelings. DO delay acting on them. For instance, if you’re furious at someone, rather than exploding at them, consciously set those feelings aside to experience and unleash them later in a healthy way. You might scream into a pillow or do an intense workout. When we deny our emotions, we tend to have a delayed reaction that is much more exaggerated.
“We all have a trigger build into our head… Not aware of its existence whatsoever. But a single word can pull the trigger. Forcing us to feel numb, allowing the shadows to sip through the cracks in our build up shell.”
―
We are all here to transcend our early limitations, whatever they were. We are here to recognise our own magnificence and divinity, no matter what they told us. Events and experiences can always be reinterpreted because they are comprised of layers and layers of significant agreements; when seen from other perspectives, the hills and vales of life take on a whole new purpose and meaning. The healing of the human gene pool is about releasing trapped pain and fear by transforming old thought patterns that contain restrictive attitudes, and bringing a state of higher awareness into the body. Asking “why” you create something changes your brain wave frequencies to open communication with the cosmic mind. Seeking greater meaning reestablishes the equilibrium of the body’s natural power to cure itself; and from the bigger picture, on the playing field of existence, all healing is reinterpreting what you believe has happened to you.
Opportunities abound when you choose to heal your relationship with your physical form. The more you pay attention to and acknowledge your body’s messages, especially the “gut feelings” that come from the brain in your belly, the more you will learn. Intuitive intelligence is a natural expression of your connection to the non-local cosmic mind, which transcends space and time. Trust yourself and follow your finest instincts. Your body does not work against you; however, if you work against your body by belittling, criticising, and devaluing yourself, your body will obey your strongest commands. When strong emotions accompany specific beliefs, the relayed commands always convey a sense of urgency, which quickens the manifestation into being. The belief that “there is not enough time” will lead to a stress-packed life, and heart failure can occur if the command about time is the predominant or strongest message sent to the body. Holding on to the feeling of a “broken heart” can be equally damaging. The heart is the body’s timekeeper; every beat marks a rhythm that is entrained with the cosmos, in tune with the Womb of the Mother, the Galactic Centre. Conscious Leaders know that ALL healing is reinterpreting what you believe has happened to you. You choose the codes of consciousness that best express your life aims based on the degree of awareness that you have developed. As chief belief-maker, please consider this inquiry: Do you send commands to wage war with your own biology based on unresolved triggers and concealed conflicts? It is time to choose a new way. Together we rise!
“When I’m triggered, I think, “This will last forever” or “What if this lasts forever?” I get thoughts about how I should give up, run away, hide, protect myself. These thoughts, I cannot change. What I can change is how I respond to them. Will I unconditionally believe these ideas, or will I accept them as side effects of the temporary experience of pain? Will I act on each thought that arises in the burning fire, or will I hold myself gently and say, “It’ll be okay. I know it hurts. I love you”? My power lies in these choices.”
― Vironika Tugaleva
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