Friday Fodder – Dissonance

Once upon a time…

Ben handed his car key to the valet and took Cindy’s arm. She looked particularly stunning in a long shimmery silver gown. Her eyes grew wide as they strolled into the best restaurant in town.

“This is spectacular, Ben.”

“Well… I wanted to take my number one girl out for a night she’d never forget”

She pretended to pout. “Number one of how many?”

He shook his head at the faux pas. “There’s only room for one love of my life.”

She blushed. They kissed. He spoke the truth. She was drop-dead gorgeous and he was crazy about her. Ben slipped his hand into his jacket pocket to confirm the ring box remained safely in place. He grinned to himself about his carefully crafted evening plans. The maître de showed them to their table. Cindy couldn’t stop looking around.

“I feel like a kid at Disneyland…”

“Hey, and no lines…”

“This will be pricey. Just look at those chandeliers.”

They browsed the menus. Cindy gasped.

Ben touched her hand. “Chill out. Get whatever you want. This is your night.”

“Okay, the filet mignon looks divine!”

The waiter brought over a pitcher of water and nodded. “Bonsoir mademoiselle; monsieur. My name is Antoine. I’ll be serving you this evening. Have you decided on what you would like?”

Ben ordered a bottle of burgundy and their mains.

Antoine bowed slightly and withdrew. Cindy fidgeted around in her chair, craning her neck to look around the room.

Ben offered, “Would you like to change places? You might get a better view from here.”

She stood. “Thank you. You’re such a gentleman, Ben.” She laughed, “Who knew?” They traded places. She continued to watch everyone in the large dining room.

Ben checked his pocket again. Reassured, he nodded. Trying to catch her eye, he shifted in his chair but Cindy was too distracted to notice.

“Oh, look. Isn’t that…?” She motioned toward a table across the room.

Ben glanced over. “Who?”

“You know… the guy from that speed movie?”

He saw ‘the guy,’ wholeheartedly consuming a dessert. “He played …the bus?”

“No, silly… Okay, he’s gained some weight. But that’s him. I know it.”

Ben frowned. “I don’t think so.” He whispered, “Cindy, don’t stare…”

She dropped her napkin and upon picking it up, waved it at the other diner.

The waiter approached with the wine. “Is everything alright? Is there something you need?” He placed the wine glasses and poured.

“Oooh, about time.” She grabbed her glass and held it up toward the other diner. Ben took his glass and nodded to the waiter who backed away. Cindy reached out. “Whoa Antoine, don’t run away with that. Just leave it on the table – we’d hate to keep calling you back for refills.”

Ben blinked. The waiter nodded and did as she asked, saying “Your dinner will be out shortly.” He made his little bow and exited.

Ben raised his glass. “A toast to my ever-ravishing Cindy.”

“Where’s the bread? Don’t tell me a place like this doesn’t have bread.” She waved at Antoine, who approached. She smiled and batted her eyes. “Lonely, Antoine? Can’t stay away, can you.” He nodded and remained silent. “Do you have any bread? Some rolls? And butter too please.”

Antoine withdrew with his signature bow.

Cindy whispered, “I mean, you even get even bread in prison.” Her nose crinkled, “You know I really prefer you in a white shirt.” she muttered off the cuff.

Ben tensed. “Okay. Noted.”

Antoine returned and placed a basket of bread on the table. “Please excuse the delay, mademoiselle. Fresh from the oven.”

Cindy threw her hair back and cheered. “Yes!”

Ben clenched his jaw. She unfolded the cloth covering and grabbed a bun.

“Yes! Yes…! Oh, hot, hot!” dropping the bread onto her plate.

Ben leaned forward. “Let’s just settle down a bit, okay?” 

Cindy scoffed. “I don’t know about you, but I’m having a ball. It’s my night remember.”

Antoine served the steaks. “Please be careful of the hot plates.” Refreshing Cindy’s wine glass.

The couple sighed at the delicious aroma. Ben touched the ring box in his jacket.

He effortlessly sliced with his knife to reveal the bright red centre of the steak. He smiled. “Perfect…”

Cindy followed suit, but her demeanour quickly changed when she saw hers had been over-cooked. Her eyes narrowed and her bottom lip protruded. “They’re supposed to be cooked the same. I want mine like yours.”

Ben conceded, “Here, you can have mine”

They switched plates. Ben ate a piece of his new steak and nodded with satisfaction. He checked his pocket. All good.

Cindy took a bite of her purloined steak. “Oh it needs more salt.” She moved the centerpiece. “Where’s the salt? Million dollar chandeliers and you can’t afford salt?”

Ben handed her the shaker which had been sitting in plain sight the entire time. He touched the ring box with his other hand.

She laughed, “Should have gone to Specsavers!”

His mouth full, Ben nodded. Cindy methodically consumed her steak. He raised his glass to her and she nodded. Ben kept her wine replenished, although her glass always seemed empty.

Antoine approached. “Dessert? Coffee?”

Ben ordered her favourite dessert and coffee.

Cindy said, “Give him a big tip. He needs extra cash to get his ears cleaned.”

Antoine brought the bill. Ben estimated the cost of the dinner including the ring in his head. He let go of the ring and reached for his wallet, then signed the receipt.

Cindy said, “I’m stuffed! It wasn’t too bad.”

They lingered over the coffee. Ben didn’t touch the dessert. He patted the ring box once more. He’d made a decision. He stood.

“Shall we?”

“Maybe Antoine could wheel me out on that desert trolly” she giggled

The valet brought his car around. He held her door and then stepped into the driver’s seat.

“I’ll drop you home.”

“You won’t stay over? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I dunno. Something at the restaurant. I feel a migraine coming on.”

Cindy looked out her window. “Suit yourself.”

Ben nodded to himself. He felt good.

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.”

― J.K. Rowling

Moral of the Story:

Extraordinary relationships are loving relationships, and loving relationships require loving people. No matter how good things look on the outside, if you don’t feel good on the inside, it’s only a matter of time before your authentic needs have to be met. Everything is frequency. Just like two musical notes that are off-key, when two people are not in harmony, it creates dissonance. While you cannot change another person, your character, your level of awareness, and your personal mastery are the forces that determine the quality of your relationships – as well as the quality of people that you attract into your life. Here are five daily principles to shape you into someone who can make your relationships loving and deeply fulfilling, romantic or otherwise.

1. Radical Integrity

Radical integrity means to live by a strong moral compass and in alignment with your core values. Integrity is about pure caring, compassion, honesty, and healthy boundaries. Your level of integrity is an essential factor in determining whether or not you are trustworthy (and, therefore, if you will attract the same in a partner). Integrity is an extension of your love. It means you love and care for others enough to do whatever it takes to not only do no harm but also to do what is in the highest good for all concerned.

2. Practice Gratitude

The whole purpose of a relationship is to deepen and enrich your experience of life. Gratitude fosters bonding and makes everything enough. That sense of appreciation, non-judgment, and non-criticism will be felt by the people in your life. They will trust you more for it, put their faith in you more easily, and will feel innately valued for who they are.

3. Foster Innocence

The quality of innocence is a combination of purity of intent and unconditional love. When your intent is pure, free of all ulterior motives, dishonesty, or manipulation, and your intent is backed by the force of unconditional love, you embody innocence and unleash the true power of authentic love in your relationships. The expression of your purity and honesty opens a space for people to trust you enough to go deeper and expand into a space of trusting vulnerability.

4. Heart-Centered Sincerity

With love-motivated behaviours, the intent is always pure and the desire to serve is sincere. That heartfelt sincerity will be apparent to the people who matter most in your life, and they will thank you for it. The true magnet for astonishingly loving relationships is being centered in your heart. In this way, you attract love wherever you go.

5. Personal Mastery

The quality of your relationships is only as good as your level of personal mastery. Most people carry a “wounded inner child” into their relationships and project that pain onto each other. Whatever your pain is, your unhealed wounds will often surface at one point or another. It’s being brought up so you can heal it. You are the creator of your life circumstances. When you shift yourself, everything that you create is shifted as well. Relationships magnify the human experience. The more harmonious and loving a relationship, the more it magnifies and enhances the experiences of beauty, freedom, and love that we all seek in our lives.

“Disharmony at home or work is toxic to a person’s physical disposition and mental health.”

― Kilroy J. Oldster

Affirmation: I am open to receive knock-my-socks-off love!

Love starts with me. I am loveable. I am grateful for the love in my life. I am open to receiving mind-blowing passion. I am a love magnet. I am deserving of deep, long-lasting, fulfilling relationships. Love is all around me, it’s everywhere I go. I attract good, loving, kind people into my life. I release any beliefs – conscious or unconscious – that prevent me from receiving love. I give my important relationships the attention they deserve. I only attract healthy relationships. I am terrifically charismatic. Sharing love comes easily to me. My partner is my soul mate and we love each other purely and unconditionally without judgment. I can share my secrets with my partner without worrying about anything. I easily express my opinions and emotions to my partner honestly. I give respect and admiration to my partner with confidence in their reciprocation. I am worthy of deeply satisfying connections. All my relationships are now loving and harmonious.

“Trade your expectation for appreciation.”

—Anthony Robbins

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