Jack and Diane are on a casual coffee date…
Jack: “What kind of man are you looking for?”
Diane: “Do you really want to know?”
Jack: “Yes.”
Diane: “As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position where I’d like to know what you can you do for me that I can’t do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man…. or woman for that matter. So, I’d like to know what can you bring to the table?
Jack: (wide-eyed)
Diane: “I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.”
Jack: “Go on..”
Diane: “I need someone who is striving for cerebral excellence because I need engaging conversation and mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man. I need someone who is striving for spiritual excellence, someone who gets that it’s all about love because I don’t need to be unequally yoked. I need a man who is striving for financial excellence because I definitely don’t need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand my dreams and desires, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader and mentor and make decisions based on the greater good.”
Jack: “Wow”
Diane: “I need someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive…he just has to be worthy.”
Jack: “OK then”
Diane: “And by the way, I am not looking for him…He will find me. He will recognise himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself. True Self-Love comes first.”
Jack: “You’re asking a lot.”
Diane: “I’m worth it.”
“It took many years of vomiting up all the filth I’d been taught about myself, and half-believed, before I was able to walk on the earth as though I had a right to be here.”
―
What Jack didn't know...
About eighteen months ago, Diane went through a horrific breakup that almost killed her. After years of masking discomfort with charm and emotionally overextending herself in waves of performative generosity, Diane was running on empty. She had devoted so much of her energy to making the relationship work that she had completely neglected her own needs, and she suddenly found herself in a place where she had given away her power. Exhausted from picking fights under the illusion of being helpful, she realised she was undermining her own needs through trying to be liked, only to end up emotionally disconnected despite all the conversation.
When she finally developed the courage to end the addictive and painful codependence. Diane had to recover after years of neglect and lack of self-love. She struggled to eat, sleep, or continue her daily functioning. Every waking moment, Diane delved deep into further understanding how and why she had ended up so depleted. She simply had to know because, whatever it was, she knew that if she couldn’t fix it and find a different way, this would be the end of her. Diane became a seeker of knowledge and wisdom that can only be gained through long periods of solitude.
During this time, Diane found places in her story where she was not actually present in her own life, her body, or her spirit. She was just there – kinda floating in the background. Diane discovered the places where she had abandoned herself and then projected anger at others for not meeting her needs. Intellectually, she knew she couldn’t pour from an empty vessel. But the truth was, she didn’t have a big enough inner container to hold the love she had desired, even if she did receive it. Diane’s self-love tank had shrunk down to the size of a thimble.
It finally became very clear to her that there was one core reason she had hit rock bottom: Diane did not know anything about self-love. This realisation launched Diane into a relentless search for the meaning of self-love, internally and externally. She discovered that self-love is not a destination; it’s a practice. Self-love is the foundation on which to build a happy life. Without self-love, there is nowhere to put the love or abundance that comes to us.
“And you thought beauty was the outward show. Now you know the truth, my love,
It has always been the inner fire.”
— John Geddes
What Diane didn't know...
During their conversation, Jack’s mind was erupting with questions. He wondered how you could possibly learn to love yourself more if your mind was literally at war with itself? What if you don’t even like who you see in the mirror? How can you learn how to love yourself when your environment is positively toxic and depressing? What if you never had positive role models? And what about other people seeing you love yourself more and labeling you as being selfish and neglectful? How, how, how?
Well, Jack, you have come to the right place! At Pure Element 5, we would say that in order to truly love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you. Earth School is heavy, and that’s the point. It gives weight to our choices and forces us to act with intention. It teaches us how to live in the middle of contradiction, which accelerates Soul growth in a way that no other place in the universe can. Earth School is a forge. The culture of mind control is designed to shape weak characters and promote habits and behaviours that weaken the mind/body/ complex, so you are more easily overwhelmed by dominating forces and challenges. When you reframe life on earth as lessons and learning, painful events can be seen as an opportunity to discover what you did not see before. In this way, you can change how you perceive yourself and expand your worldview. In the spirit world, you remember who you truly are, and at Earth School, you are tasked to become it. You must fight through the noise, the fear, the distractions, and the trauma to find your way back to love in a world that has forgotten how to love well. This is no accident. This is the setup.
Before you are born, you make what some call soul contracts. These are not rigid scripts but more like outlines and possibilities. A soul might choose to be born into a certain family to learn compassion and forgiveness, or to finally set boundaries, or to stop a cycle of harm that has run rampant through generations. Another might choose a body plagued by chronic illness to learn about healing and patience, or a path with fame, notoriety, and the pressure of public scrutiny to learn humility and service to others. There are infinite variations, yet the thread is the same. The soul picks challenges that will lead to the desired growth. The only caveat is that once we are here, our minds are wiped and we forget everything, which is part of the deal. In a free will universe, the possibility to wander off track, resist your lessons, collapse into fear, and choose comfort over truth, or stagnation over change, is up to you. Each time you do, the soul takes note. Not with judgment, but with concern, because any lesson not learned must be repeated… perhaps later in life or even in the next one. The landscape of your soul contract, with its potentials, pressure points, and core tasks, is not a straight line; it’s a web. Every single decision you make sends ripples out across that web. You can choose to take the long way. You can choose to take the hard way. All choice is with you.
The unresolved material, ancestral karma, soul missions, and priorities that you packed into this life path are like luggage you cannot lose. The density of the Earth plane means you must carry all of it with you. And if you make more, you must carry that too. Soul goals, family karma, and cultural chaos are wrapped up in personal trauma. And inside all of that is the spark – the reason you chose to be here. Free will does not mean you get to skip the work. It means you get to choose how you approach it. You can avoid your path, but you cannot erase it. You can numb yourself to the lessons, but the soul will not be silenced for too long. At some point, the pressure builds and patterns come back. Your lessons will present again in a different form, with different faces on different stages, time and again, until you choose a new adventure. This is not cruelty; it is grace. Because the minute you say yes to the work, the soul responds. Your guides come closer, synchronicities multiply, and your insights return. The path then begins to clear because you are finally walking it with your whole self. Every life is a classroom. Every relationship is a mirror. Every wound is an invitation. Every joy is a memory of what you already know. You are not random. You are far more powerful than you ever could imagine, and you are not alone.
“To the people who love you, you are beautiful already. This is not because they’re blind to your shortcomings but because they so clearly see your soul. Your shortcomings then dim by comparison. The people who care about you are willing to let you be imperfect and beautiful, too.”
―
It’s All About Love
If there is only one lesson you learn this entire year, let it be this: You are absolutely the most important person in your universe. Your entire life is lived through your eyes. Your interactions with the world and those around you, your thoughts and how you interpret events, relationships, actions, and words. When it comes to your understanding of reality, you are the only thing that matters.
And because of that, your reality totally depends on how much you love and take care of you. Your relationship with yourself is the most defining factor in shaping the kind of life you live. The less you love yourself, listen to yourself, and understand yourself, the more confused, angry, and frustrating your reality will be.
When you begin and continue to love yourself more, everything you see, everything you do, and everyone you interact with, becomes a little bit better in every way possible. Self-love doesn’t mean that everyone will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It means that you won’t let them change the way you see yourself; nor will you stick around for them to destroy you.
“How would your life be different if…You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day…You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others.”
―
Self-Love
But self-love isn’t easy. Whenever we do something below expectation, we can fall into the anxiousness of not being good enough, judging ourselves harshly instead of appreciating ourselves for what we did do. We are programmed to have bouts of self-loathing and, for many of us, these phases of self-hatred can turn into our entire lives. It’s when we spend more time hating ourselves than we do loving ourselves that we adopt a more negative disposition of the world.
Practicing self-love can be challenging for many of us, especially in times when we face serious challenges. It’s not about being self-absorbed or narcissistic, it’s about getting in touch with ourselves, our well-being and our happiness. We practice self-love so we can push through our limiting beliefs and live a life that truly shines. Demonstrate love by giving it, unconditionally, to yourself. And as you do, you will attract others into your life who will love you without conditions.
“Document the moments you feel most in love with yourself – what you’re wearing, who you’re around, what you’re doing. Recreate and repeat.”
―
5 Self-Love Practices You Can Do Today!
These times of change involve a rapid emergence from an era of ignorance, breaking free from an old spell that has been in place for thousands and thousands of years. If you cannot recognise a value system in which all human beings have intrinsic value, then you will seek validation for your existence through the external world and other people. If the external world does not validate your worth according to your personal expectations and belief systems, you will fall into judgment of those around you and project your pain and dark thoughts onto them. The love you seek from others must be generated by you, for you. When you feel genuine love for yourself, you are connecting with and contributing to the vital-force energy that sustains all of existence; it is the greatest gift you have to offer the world – your own unique version of the love frequency.
Interrupt negative repetitive patterns. Interrupt the pattern by doing, saying or thinking the opposite of the original pattern.
2. Practice showing yourself compassion and kindness as you learn. Begin by smiling at yourself in the mirror and giving yourself a compliment.
3. Think about your most favourite thing. Feel that feeling and sit with that level of joy. Expand it through your heart space and see it expand your tank of self-love.
4. Reach out for support when you need it. The ego cannot ask for help. Sharing your thoughts and feelings can lighten your load.
5. Stand up for yourself. What is a deal-breaker for you? What are your deeply cherished values? What are your boundaries? Explore what your needs are and respect them by being your own advocate.
“Sometimes you have to choose between planting roots or growing wings.”
―
It’s All About Love
Remember that your thoughts create your reality, so if you find yourself facing a puzzling situation, ask, Why am I creating this? Asking why sets the stage for further clarity. The trick is to pay attention and learn to listen for the response. No matter what you are creating, your beliefs form the underlying foundation for all of your experiences. As the Conscious Leader of your own life, you must learn to be aware of your power to imprint the energies you are interacting with and are using to structure reality. True compassionate love naturally brings unity. When we embody love, we experience the interconnectedness of all things.. It is necessary to be in love and peace with yourself so you can love others without fear – for the two cannot be present at the same time. When you seek self-empowerment, you truly begin to live. Together we rise!
“As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me.
Today I call it “RESPECT”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.
Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening.
Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognised that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.
Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!”
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